ophelia floats (opheliafloats) wrote in sas_chapterone,
ophelia floats
opheliafloats
sas_chapterone

SPINSTER-VIEW #1

sas_chapterone
SPINSTER-VIEW #1: (57 year old teacher, asks to be referred to as "Calla")

SAS
Hi. How are you today?

CALLA
Fine. You already asked me that.

SAS
Sorry, we'll move on. When did you fist recognize your spinster calling?

CALLA
When I was 19. A guy proposed to me and then joined the marines. I think he just didn't want me to fool around while he was gone.

SAS
So why didn't you marry him?

CALLA
Ha! He was an asshole! He came to see me one time and told me that he had another girlfriend. I was trying to break up with him, but he said, "That's ok. I already have another girl." So I threw my ring at him and ran home. I should have kept it. I paid for it. He didn't have any money.

SAS
What's the worst thing a man has ever said to you?

CALLA
Well this young man and I were going out for a long time when I lived in SF in 1966 or so...we used to go to concerts, hang out in the park with this ocelot. It was fun. I went back to school after the summer and he came to see me where I lived. He had been getting into astrology. It was pretty popular then. He told me he didn't think our relationship was going to work out because our signs really weren't that compatible. Then he said, "But your friend Debbie, now that would work..."

SAS
What do you do for fun?

CALLA
Watch television. Play Mah Jongg with a bunch of other spinsters.

SAS
What are your favorite shows?

CALLA
"Stargate SG1" and "The Highlander"!!!

SAS
Do you think you might start dating again?

CALLA
No. I don't like men. They're ugly. They're mean and nasty, they take and take from women and they don't give back. They think they do, but they don't.

SAS
Do you have any advice for the SAS members reading this interview?

CALLA
Get two or three friends (girls) and play Tiddley-winks. It's way more fulfilling.


(sas_chapterone 11/09/03)
If you have a spinster-view that you would like to conduct, please do so and submit it for our entertainment and educational purposes.
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